Dealing With An Affair

Maybe you know someone who is constantly looking at porn, masturbating, or is always surfing the “internet”. You’re tired of the ups and downs. You want to get rid of this issue now and for all, but a nagging urge creates actions you are unable to control.

And so does it take your boss firing you for surfing porn on the Internet or to be reprimanded for sexually harassing a co-worker? How about contracting a sexually transmitted disease and still having sex? Losing a lot of money to pay for prostitutes or on-line sex. Maybe your partner is tired of the lies and is leaving you. You have unprotected sex and now have an unwanted pregnancy. These are but a few of the depressing consequences of sex addiction.

How many times have you committed to stop this addictive behavior but fall back time and time again and you find yourself repeating the unwanted sexual behavior?

The thrill becomes more important than family, career, personal health and safety. You say, “It is a way to release all my stress”.

A sex addict follows a routine or ritual that leads up to acting out the desire. Once this is complete, feelings of denial, shame, despair and confusion takes over.

Sexual addiction also is associated with risk-taking. A person with a sex addiction engages in various forms of sexual activity, despite the potential for negative and/or dangerous consequences.

The sex addiction progresses to involve illegal activities, such as exhibitionism (exposing oneself in public), making obscene phone calls, or molestation.

Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:

• Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
• Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
• Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
• Consistent use of pornography
• Unsafe sex
• Phone or computer sex (cybersex) at home or work
• Prostitution or use of prostitutes
• Exhibitionism
• Obsessive dating through personal ads
• Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking
• Sexual harassment
• Molestation/rape

In many cases, it takes a significant event—such as the loss of a job, the break-up of a marriage, an arrest, or health crisis—to force the addict to admit to his or her problem.

If you or someone you love is dealing with a sex addiction, there is help available for you. If you would like to talk to someone right now, please contact me.