During the holiday season it can be very difficult not to spend your time on break scrolling through social media and lamenting and comparing yourself to those who are getting married, having children, getting job promotions, acceptances, and beyond. After all, it seems as though others accomplishments and strides are unavoidable, especially at family or friend events where they seem to be a topic of conversation leading to the bigger, dreaded, phrase of “So what’s going on with you?”

While it may seem easy to derail and fall into the abyss of comparison upon comparison, it actually does less in terms of building yourself up and more in tearing yourself down mentally and sometimes physically. It is important to remember, however, that we as people are vastly different and are in no way carbon copies of one another. Although easier said than done, there are many ways to devoid yourself of constant self comparison to others. Many of which lie, in simple everyday behaviors and actions that we may not realize can help us when our focus is put into them. These include but are not limited to:

Uplifting Others

A common occurrence in comparing ourselves to others is we fall victim to getting caught in thinking that we are not enough because we do not fit into other’s preconceived notions of what success is. Because of this, we start to draw resentment and jealousy upon seeing others succeed in comparison and from within our own insecurities. To help alleviate the negativity that accompanies these feelings is instead learning to uplift others by congratulating them and giving encouragement for their future endeavors or even doing a compliment exchange where you give someone a compliment to bring positivity into their day you give yourself one as well. Although it is a simple action, the spread of positivity can do wonders to build up the confidence and self-esteem of yourself and others.

Make A Gratitude List

We are not perfect individuals and that is very okay. It is more than acceptable and normal to not have it all figured out at any age or time as it is in our human nature to grow and progress at different speeds. As mentioned previously, we are all different and there is no concrete way to measure success, only what we believe it to be on an individual level. An exercise that very much helps with putting into perspective your own goals and strides instead of dreading the feeling of not fitting into others is simply creating a list of acceptance and gratitude to reflect upon as a sort of daily affirmation. When taking time to focus on what you are grateful for in life such as having good health, a place to live, a source of education, support or love from friends, family, and significant others while additionally learning to accept certain things such as it being okay to find yourself or take small steps, it takes away from the imaginary expectations that we tend to set out for ourselves when hearing about acceptances, new jobs, engagements, etc. of others as it becomes insignificant and highlights what is truly important to us as people.

Unplug And Engage In New Activities

Have you ever thought to yourself that you would like to try something new or start a new activity but you never have had the time because of school, work, etc? When we are on a certain break from these obstacles, the only thing that can stand in our way of our pursuits is our screen and how willing we are to leave it for a bit. With the rise of the digital age it can be quite difficult to break away from our screens and social media time, but when you take even just 20 minutes to engage in a new hobby such as learning ballet or taking up carpentry you can unlock new talents and pursuits from within eventually leading to your own successes that inevitably benefit you mentally, physically, and psychologically.

It can be difficult to stop yourself from comparing yourself to those around you that seem to be doing better in terms of societal norms, but in actuality, that may never be the case. We do not know what goes on beyond the social media posts in someone else’s life, and therefore it is not fair to others and most importantly ourselves to draw conclusions based on pictures or a conversation at a gathering. We are all on our own journeys to wellness and progress within our lives and the road in which we travel differs for each individual, and that is okay. After all, we are not built to be perfect, and we only learn from our flaws.