Are you struggling with that one colleague? The one who you cannot stand to be around? The mere thought of their presence is almost sickening or stressful? For most of us, there is one person in the work place who, for one reason or another, you have difficulties coping with. In some instances, this unpleasant person is not a colleague at all. Perhaps it’s a demanding mother-in-law, an obnoxious next-door neighbor, or your own sibling. In any instance, sometimes, you are unable to escape these dreadful interactions, in which case it might be useful to learn how to cope with them.

            Signs that you are dealing with a difficult person or colleague, includes a feeling of being trained or exhausted of energy. Sometimes, it takes a pattern of behaviors exhibited by that person before realizing their toxicity. After an interaction with that person, if you are left wondering and thinking about the strange and uncomfortable encounter, you might be dealing with a difficult person. Other cues can be deflating self-esteem when that person comes around you, or even triggering of a fight or flight response. In many instances, these uncontrollable cues are signs that your body is giving as a warning. An interaction with a competitive colleague, a micromanaging boss, or a challenging personal relationship can cause increased awareness and energy expenditure. This is why it is necessary to form coping skills and lessen the stress on yourself.

1. The first step you can take towards understanding your colleague and managing them is to breathe. Calm yourself before jumping to interact with your person, whether that is through email, text, or conversation. It is always best to speak out of relaxation than out of anger.
2. Accept that the person is here to stay. As long as you continue to have the same family, relationships, or job, this person will be in your life for some time. You cannot ignore or resist this person, but you can create a more comfortable environment for yourself.
3. Create healthy boundaries for yourself. This can help protect your emotion and your sanity. This could mean creating system of communication with your pestering neighbor or solely discussing work-related topics with a colleague who seeks out personal information. It is mindful to be protective of yourself and take explicit steps that create space between you and the other person.
4. Be compassionate. This person in your life might be dealing with their own issues, and it is likely that they are not intending to make your life miserable. Even if it hurts, keep your composure and be kind to them. Compassion in hand with distance, can be a powerful pair.

In any case, you will need to address the issue you have with a colleague. You do not want to cause unnecessary stress on yourself when you could build healthy coping mechanisms. Be mindful of the other person’s emotions as well as yours. And, if the issue is serious, and you feel like you cannot take control of the situation, go to someone for assistance. Whether that is your employer, a friend, or a therapist, there will be an individual ready to help.