An affair is an unfaithfulness in a relationship or marriage. Relationships and marriages involved can be strained because of affairs. Someone who has been part of an affair may feel betrayed, confused, devastated, and alone afterward. Some relationships end due to affairs. People might feel like the betrayal was too deep and that there is no turning back to what things were before the affair. However, there are also cases where couples can repair relationships. Depending on the circumstances, they may accomplish this by themselves or with a therapist’s help. Therapy can be the only path in which your relationship heals and with it, your connection as a couple is remade.

What actions fall into infidelity?

Infidelity may change based on what the person believes is considered a betrayal of their relationship. Infidelity might come in the form of the viewing of pornography, or the action of having sex outside of your monogamous relationship. It is important for you to sit down with your therapist and target those aspects that you consider a betrayal in your relationship. Doing this will give you a base to start with the healing of your relationship.

What causes infidelity?

Studies show adults in the United States expect sexual monogamy. Approximately 20% of people will engage in extramarital sex at some point (excluding those in an open relationship.) There are many reasons why people have affairs. Relationship dissatisfaction may be a major factor. Stability and security are important elements of a successful relationship. Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy are also essential. Deficiency in these areas can reduce relationship satisfaction. Infidelity may result from a lack of relationship satisfaction.

Some other reasons a person may engage in infidelity include:

• Low self-esteem
• To end the main relationship
• Lack of emotional intimacy
• Sex addiction
• Avoidance of personal or relationship problems
• Depression